We’ve all had times when we’ve been severely wounded by others. People say unkind things about us, spread harmful lies behind our backs, or even betray our trust in unprecedented and painful ways.

Most Christians don’t expect this behavior from fellow believers. After all, Christians should know better. We shouldn’t be capable of hurting a fellow Christian, and if we do, we’re not a very good Christian — right?

But Christians can and do hurt us. In fact, when I look back at my life, it seems Christians have wounded me the most.

You’re fired

Last year I was let go from my job at a Christian organization. Just prior, I received praise, promises, and what I thought was the hint of an upcoming promotion.

Instead, I was jobless, struggling to make sense of what happened and how it happened. I was devastated. Utterly broken. From my perspective, I had been wronged — terribly wronged.

For over a year I’ve wrestled with despair, frustration, uncertainty, disappointment, anger and fear. I’ve watched those who told me to pack my things go on with their happy lives (and jobs) as if nothing had happened. As if my world hadn’t completely exploded.

I have been on a long journey of healing, trying to find God in this pain. I knew I should move toward forgiveness, but bitterness and resentment crept in instead. These people were my enemies! Why were they allowed to succeed at my expense? Why were their worlds still spinning while I remained stuck in this pit?

Friends and enemies

But then the Lord powerfully convicted me.

A couple months ago I began reading the Psalms in reverse. One morning, I started with Psalm 142. Verses 6-7 say:

“Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me. Bring me out of prison so I can thank you…”

Yes, Lord, I thought. Rescue me from my persecutors, from those who have hurt me and wounded me. Lead me out of this pit that has become my prison.

I moved on to Psalm 141. Verses 8-10 read,

“I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord. You are my refuge; don’t let them kill me. Keep me from the traps they have set for me, from the snares of those who do wrong. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, but let me escape.”

Yes! I thought again. God, let those wicked people who hurt me fall into their own traps. Let them be hurt the same way I was hurt!

Next, I read Psalm 140, verses 8-9, 11:

“Lord, do not let evil people have their way. Do not let their evil schemes succeed, or they will become proud. Let my enemies be destroyed by the very evil they have planned for me. Don’t let liars prosper here in our land…”

YES! I practically screamed it out loud. Please, Lord, punish those who lied and ruined my life.

Finally, I got to Psalm 139. I read verses 19 and 20:

“O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name.”

Yes, I prayed. Destroy the wicked people who hurt me. I kept reading.

“O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.” (Psalm 139: 21-22, NLT)

Suddenly, I heard the voice of the Spirit. Rebecca… you’re projecting. That drew me up short. Tell me, Rebecca, are they really your enemies? Are they really wicked? And then it hit me. Those people who hurt me aren’t wicked people … they are followers of Christ. They love God and follow Him. Maybe they did something hurtful. Maybe even something selfish (or maybe not; I don’t truly know their motives). But they aren’t wicked. The only criterium I should have for my enemies is that they hate and oppose God — and these people simply do not fit that description.

Pick your battles

I think all Christians know this in our heads. We know our enemies, our true enemies, are not of this world. Ephesians 6:12 tells us this very plainly:

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Even God’s angels fight daily against this evil.

This truth is hard to remember, though, when we’ve been hurt by someone (especially if the person is a believer). It is so convenient to think God hates those who hurt us. When we’re hurt, our first instinct is not to forgive; it is likely to get even. I know how easy it is to have an attitude of, “I would never do that to somebody else, especially not to another believer; I must be better (more spiritual/more correct/more loved by God) than them.” But I’m not. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” says Romans 3:23 (emphasis added).

A way forward

I realized that over the past year, I hadn’t tried to get healed … I’d tried to get revenge. I had cast my former coworkers in the role of the “wicked and sinful” in my head and my heart, while I was somehow the innocent and righteous one who was being persecuted by their wicked deeds. But I am no more righteous than they; it is only by grace that I have been saved.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse sinful behavior, but it turns all judgment and consequences over to God. He is the only one capable of holding both justice and mercy for every person and situation. Besides, I had my own work to do; I had to repent of my hard heart and unwillingness to forgive.

I won’t say that total forgiveness happened immediately. But for the first time in over a year, I feel like I can say I forgive my former colleagues and mean it. My heart has begun to soften. Forgiveness finally feels possible. And it all started with a reminder of who my real enemies are.

Copyright 2025 Rebecca Campbell. All rights reserved.