I’ve daydreamed about going back in time and talking to my younger self. I’d probably say things like: “Don’t be such a perfectionist because you’re not perfect,” “Don’t take on so much in high school and college,” and “Don’t run in heels or you’ll break your ankle” (true story).

One thing I’ve never imagined telling younger me is how I met my fiancé: via text. Like most 20-somethings, I had tried dating apps and hated them. They seemed fake and impersonal. So any sort of relationship over the phone — especially long distance — sounded like an impossibility to me.

But Robbie and I connected over text after a friend asked if she could give him my number. And while being 500 miles apart has definitely had its challenges, it has also shown me many unexpected blessings.

Ya’ll gotta talk

If you want to get to know someone through text, phone call or Facetime, you must talk to them. A lot. If Robbie and I hadn’t communicated so much in the first few weeks of meeting, I’m sure we wouldn’t be engaged right now.

All this talk about talking may seem intimidating, but it’s such a gift. By being intentional and focused in your conversations, you can learn a lot about a person’s values, character, background and future hopes and dreams — all without physical distractions and awkwardness.

My fiancé and I just had our phones, so all we could do was talk (and play the occasional two-player phone game). And talk we did. It gave us great insight that helped us make informed decisions about our future potential. Now that we’re engaged, my prayer is that our constant communication is a mainstay and continues into our marriage.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder (for real!)

All right . . . I’ll be honest. Long-distance dating has its advantages, but it’s also hard. If I had a dollar for every time Robbie and I wished we were in the same room instead of different states, I could pay off my 2018 Nissan Versa. Unfortunately, I’m still making car payments, and I am still an eight-hour drive away from my fiancé.

As sucky as being apart from your fiancé, boyfriend or girlfriend is, it makes those times when you are together that much better. Think about it. When you see the same person almost every day, you begin to take their presence for granted. Of course, you still love them and are happy whenever you see them. But you may not think much about how amazing it is that they are in the same room as you.

On the contrary, whenever Robbie and I meet up after a month apart, it’s the biggest deal in the universe. I used to think the phrase, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” was stupid. Now, I see that the creator of the saying had a point.

Intentionality sets you up for success

Not surprisingly, distance makes intentionality in a relationship harder, which means being dedicated to growth and accountability in your long-distance relationship is a huge accomplishment.

Intentionality while dating long-distance can look like a lot of things: making decisions with the other person in mind, touching base to see how you both are doing, keeping short accounts and handling conflict when it arises, or blocking off three hours every weekend for a dinner date over Facetime.

To be honest, sometimes it’s hard for me to stay intentional with and accountable to my fiancé. As someone who’s been on her own for a long time, it’s easy for me to do my own thing and deal with my struggles and frustrations alone. But now that I have someone else, I take him into consideration anytime I have Friday night plans or get overwhelmed with anxiety. It’s now second nature for me to tell Robbie anything that’s going on with me. Practicing selflessness and accountability while dating and engaged will help you carry those practices into marriage.

Long-distance dating isn’t for everyone, and some of you hoping for a boyfriend or girlfriend may never experience it. However, if like me you wrote it off completely, maybe you should take that crumbled-up piece of paper out of your trashcan and write it back in as a possibility. It can be tough sometimes, but if it’s God’s way for you to meet the guy or girl He has for you, you will not only survive, you’ll thrive. And you’ll have gained some valuable skills — and blessings — in the process.

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